Anonyms Insomnia

It's now official. I struggle from insomnia, and the screwed up doctor of mine won't give me pills. It's now 3.30 am aka in the morning, and I have slept for 3 hours. I am not kidding with you, if I die in the up- coming year, insomnia will be the reason. I haven't had a good night sleep nor should I say a whole night sleep for at least a month. And the only thing that makes me sleep is alcohol, and I have no plans to turn in to an alcoholic, so please Mr. doctor, give me something to help me sleep…

Gals' Night Out

Some friends of mine and I decided to have a nice gal's-night-in, which turned out to be a gal's-night-out, but it was nice, we went to a bar and just sat there and talked shit and laughed. It was nice not having to get drunk or dance or asses of for once. Just be ourselves with ourselves. So of course we had to capture our night with a picture, loved it though. Especially since the chica in the back is just some random drunk chick that passed us and obviously wanted to join in.

R.I.P Casanova

Heath Ledger was found dead in an apartment in SoHo, Manhattan Tuesday morning 3:31 pm. This was Mary Kate Olsen's apartment. Ledger had a daughter with co- worker Michelle Williams that he met on the set of his most acknowledge role in "Brokeback Mountain". They were separated last year. He apparently died after an overdose after a long struggle of drug abuse. He only turned 28 years old.

May peace be with him, his daughter and family

An amazing little toddler

So me and my friend went to a coffee house today to study and there came the most amazing litte baby girl over to us. So we didn't get to do to much reading. She was even a pro using my cell. She called my lawyer and text my friend saying 'hey'. I guess it was a little bit of good luck. But lord she was adorable. I hope my future child is as smart as that. She reminded me of my sister, little miracle (as i named her) when she was two. Just not as crazy as little miracle

True pink Paris love

My french friend has the coolest fashion sense ever. She always knows What to wear to suprise us. Never have i meat someone who is so secure on her own style. She's gonna be a fashion designer. Just look at her ballerina skirt, and her white tee, too perfect and she has a purse looking like a cd player. Today we are going shopping in a second-hand store and than for spring break we might go to paris for a few days after our trip to york. And she's gonna show we the best second- hand stores. Me love

One night stand: You’re a whore

So one of my friends in k-town partied it up pretty bad last night, thankfully I was sober and watched Sex and the City, I perfect Saturday night if you ask me (as long as it only happens a few times a year, or else it would be boring), anyway my friend got pretty wasted, and ended up losing her house key at a club, and had to sleepover at her hook-up-for-the-night, pretty cute one (I've seen pictures). Of course as wasted as she was (and probably him to) she ended up in bed with him. And now they don't remember if they used protection, sucky ducky situation to end up in, but she's going to take the pill tomorrow and it will all be fine. But you know what the worst part is, she doesn't think about the protection (more than she has to), oh no, she's worried that he will think she's a slut, because she ended up in bed with him. Get real, one thing is a girl saying someone is slutty because she slept around some, because that's what girls do and unfortunately that will probably not change in a long time. We are judging slutty bitches, deal with it. But worrying that the boy will judge her, so wrong, he slept with her too ya know. Too bad, it's cool when I guy do it, but if a girl do the same she's a whore. Well guess what, if she's a slut than he's a man whore, nothing more to say about that. And now she keeps nagging me about her giving it up to fast, you know what my dear girly friend of mine, would it be better if you didn't and then he would have to pretend to like you so he could get in your pants? (Because that's what boys do) No, that would be heart breaking. It's easy to say I guess, but if that's all he wants, than she's better off alone. Take that pill, please use a condom next time, wait and see what happens, don't break your heart over it. It's not worth it; take it from someone who knows.

Goodbye for Now

Do you remember I told you about my roommate that got in to a pretty bloody fight, and the police showed up at my door? Well, the good thing is, he was free of all chargers, the bad one is, he got kicked out. I know, it sucks, my roommate is really cool, he definitely knows how to get a party started and what makes him even better, he knows how to just chill. No fuzz, just sitting there talking and making fun of a bunch of freaky stuff. But that's over for now. Sucks, but we'll survive. So last night we made him a goodbye party (there is probably going to be more of those), it was a lot of fun, but we all got to drunk, which was not a part of the plan at all. We went to a club called Twist and danced or ass off. But still it pisses me of that you obviously can't make any mistakes anymore. So fine, he screwed up. So what? I do it all the time. Okey, so I don't beat up a guy. But the police freed him for all charges, why shouldn't the house man do it to as well? And the worst thing, he only got 15 days to leave, how sick is that? Still, he's going to come to my birthday party and we're still cool. No one's going to take that away…

I gonna miss him big time though...

The New and improved Sex and the City?

The producers of Sex and the City is on it again. ABC's new TV show Cashmere Mafia is about four women living on Manhattan, bounded by their Ivy League education and success. My first impression was that it looked too much like Sex and the City, both with the background music and the plot. Even the actors had a small resemblance to the four previous girls, they even have a red head. But after the second look it finally got my eye. This are not all single women in New York, two of them even have a husband and children. In one way it takes of where Sex and the City ended, but I guess the movie that comes out late this year will prove that. If the show will be as big of a success as their previous show, we'll have to wait and see, but its sure is worth checking out…

Cashmere Mafia air's Wednesdays 10/9c on ABC

Porn and Blood and Studying

Me and three of my girlfriend's were trying to study together last night, and we did pretty good until the cops came at my door (twice) and asked a bunch of question, and got really rude at some point cuz I didn't know what was going on. Anyway it showed out that there was a pretty ugly fight on my door step (my stairs and door was covered in blood) and a guy got hurt pretty bad (obviously), but it's all good now. I was a little scared my roommate was going to get arrested, but it's all good. But what I actually wanted to tell you, was my friend who didn't feel like study, still, she wanted to be "social" so she came to our study night, but of course she couldn't come empty handed so she brought pizza, chips and a PORNO magazine, oh yeah, I almost felt like I was lost in a boy's world, she gave us one good laugh though… We should have seen it coming; she is kind of a tomboy.

But one thing is sure, I can complain about the lack of neither action nor drama.

Back at school

It only took my friend about 10 minutes before she fell asleep after our first lecture today. You see we got this amazing red 'beds' at my college, and trying to study malcome x there is a sleeping pill itself. But when we finally got our brains together we got pretty much every thing done. A great start of the week;)

but I think I have to give the Dean a personale thanks for our new study spot

If I Only Had the Talent of Someone Else

From time to time I always wished I had the talent to draw or take some amazing pictures (and of course sing and act and the rest of the showbiz), just be someone, or get the feeling of being someone. But the truth is if I was an artist I would still be me, probably just a little crazier, and my friends would probably not love me more or less, If I was famous probably "more", so why do I still wish to be unique??? This is not a rhetoric question, cuz I don't have the answer for it. Actually it's kind of annoying wanting to be someone you know you're not. Maybe I just found my answer… Maybe that's all there is to my question, to be someone else, is that why we watch shows on TV. So we can just for the 45 minutes dream away into another person's life? Is that what I do when I watch One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl or Sex and the City? I had a similar conversation with my friend earlier today about Sex and the City and it does make me less moody. But do I really forget about my own problems for awhile, maybe I do, but it's not like I want to be any of them (no matter how exciting their life's can be). Carrie is too independent (sure, I want to or already am independent, but not to that extend). Charlotte is to innocent (Jeez, I feel like I am "back" in the 50s), Miranda is too much of a feminist for me to handle and well, Samantha, she love sex that's for sure, but I personally would like to know the once I sleep with or at least know how many. So maybe we just need to except that we are who we are… and you are the only one who can change you (that was a deep one for sure) :p

Partying = Alcoholism

I love the weekend. There is nothing better to do, when you want to relax from a hard week, than to party it up with your friends. When Monday comes once more I'm ready to face the new challenges of a new week. Well as ready as one can get… So my roommate started saying that I would end up as an alcoholic if I didn't stop partying every weekend. One-ish bottle of wine (that's not much) and I go out to a club and dance my ass off. I'm not drinking twice a week or three times a week. NO, once, one stupid time, just so I can forget about the school work, my upcoming assignment paper or exam, not to mention every other study thing I was supposed to do… It's nice to forget once in awhile… Sure I am little reduced Sunday morning, but what? It's not like she's sitting in her room studying, no, she's watching a movie or maybe two, hang out with her boyfriend, go downtown to window shop (I'm even with her on that one). Get it, it's normal to party or not study every minute of the day without being looked down on or talked to with a pointed finger. So guess what I'm going to do now, finish my book for my literature class, and then watch some kind of chic movie and forget about tomorrow, you should do the same…

Harlow Winter

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden just got their first baby (girl) named Harlow Winter Kate Madden. People keep saying the name is wired, but personally I love it. Harlow is a name I could have named my own baby, not that I have any plans becoming pregnant. But if I would be so (un)lucky, Harlow Winter is definitely on my top 10 list. Right now Roma is #1, but Harlow is so pushing in. And I think as time goes by I'm going to like it even more, but it would be a little cheesy naming my kid after Nicole's…

Congrats to the lucky couple and their new born

When the World can’t Feel You Know More

So for a time now, it feels like I'm not being heard. It feels like I can scream out loud and no one is gonna hear me. It's a scary feeling and it makes me feel like I am drowning somehow. I sound even crazier written in black and white than it did inside my head. But I'm for real right now. I don't blame anyone at all, it's just that I need someone, just one person I can talk to and that will listen, and without saying it's gonna be fine, think positive and everything will be fine. Because maybe I just need to feel down, maybe it's just that time of year where things aren't suppose to be super great and sunny and all that. I am not super depressed or anything, just a little, but I don't think it can be worked on. I believe that humans need to feel down at times, the sun comes back (Jeez, I wonder how many times I thought that for the last 22 years, it's true though), but someone needs to back off and stop telling me to lighten up, WAKE UP CALL, I don't feel like lightening up, I just need to feel like I don't have to smile to everyone all day long. I need my bestfriend, she understands it, or she pretends to understand it, but honestly I don't care. She makes me feel better, so than I guess she's doing her job correctly, if she was only here, but I understand, i could never ask her to...

I Miss My Birkin

So I've told you about my diamond once before. She lives in Cali, US with her boyfriend. On the country side, or no, just in a small town at the time, but she; just like me, is a big city girl, and if she gets it her way, they'll be out of there the second he's graduated from college if not sooner. So the infamous (or famous) Diamond of mine left me, so fine I get it , we all gotta live our life, that's probably why I left my hometown, I was in a desperate need of living my life, but still, we did everything together and it sucks that she's not around when I need to talk, sure we have cells (actually I don't think her cell is working at the moment) but it's not the same as talking to someone face to face. But she'll be back for my birthday, and I am super excited. We are gonna rock the crazy out of K-town. But lately I keep thinking what if she dies or I die, and what if we aren't able to keep in touch, and the other person will never know her best friend is dead. I know, it sound crazy, we have been friends sins we were kids and I don't truly think we'll ever not talk at all, but to be honest, that thought sometimes shakes me up a little… She's like my purse, my favorite one, you know the one purse you have, that you just love and you know you'll never gonna throw out, that's her, she's my Birkin (not that I actually have that purse, but still that's her).

So Birkin diamond girl, get your bony ass home

I can feel it again

For the first time in what feels like forever, I can write again. I used to write songs, a bunch of them, I probably have written around 150-200, if I count in the poems (I never actually counted them, but around that number). But for the two last years I wasn't able to write anymore. I don't know what happened, but it happens to the best of us, I lost my inspiration and I couldn't do it. There were a lot of bad feelings going on, and when you're not able to put them on paper, it's not gonna be a good lyric. But now I can again, and I have written some not-to-bad songs with a beat (a bad beat, but a beat). And that made me super exited, I'm back in my game and I love it… (love that little cartoon thingy by the way)

Partying with a rock star

So after a long wait my new roommate showed up. And guess What, he's a rapper, dame good one too, his band is called 'darkside of the force' very famous in england and most of Europe, but not america all yet;) but they will be soon. Enjoy, trust me when i say you got something to look forward to...

Back in k-town

Finally I got back to K-town, feels good, no wait, it feels great, so me and some of my friends went out to eat, and we had the cutest waiter and he was so lovely that he took this picture of us. Later tonight we are gonna drink with some of my roommates, it's such a nice winter, for sure... and i don't even like winters, not really anyway :/

R.I.P Baby Bear

This is hard for me to say, but a part of me needs to get it out in the open. A friend of the family or more my brother's friend commited suicide this December. He jumped of a roof in the brightest of the day, leaving his friends and family devastated. He was suffering from a mental illness, and has been on strong medication for about two years, the medication gave him a serious depression. 12/07 2007 he decided to end his suffering, and took the fall. In his letter he apologized to his family and friends, saying it was the best for everyone. He was so lost that he thought we be happier without him, he couldn't see how much he ment for us, for his parents and sister. Never ever will he be able to fix the pain that he coste, never will he wake up to see the sun outside, feeling happy, cuz no matter how dark it gets outside, you'll see the light and you feel the happinesse you had as a five year old. But you are never going to find that out, you didn't take the time. It breaks my heart to feel the pain you went through alone, not talking to anyone about it. you were only 16 going on 17, and now you're no age, your not old or young, your just everywere. And i think your mommy and daddy knows that, aswell your sister. They are sticking together being strong. They are trying to help other kids now, in your name. It's one way to give your life or more your death a purpose. Rest in peace little kid, you'll see the sun in heaven...